Five months ago, I resigned from my first full-time role. It was my first job out of university and had spent close to three years in that role as part of the regional marketing team in Shopee, a leading e-Commerce platform in South-East Asia and Taiwan. I was offered the opportunity to work in a large social media company and wanted to try something new.
I remember my last day vividly, particularly the moment when I had to surrender my access card to the company’s premises. Suddenly, I was a guest in the very building where I spent most of my waking hours, where my lovely team and friends still reside. It felt a little like graduation minus the sense of achievement. It was a feeling of loss.
That feeling lingered and I couldn’t understand it. I had decided on this career move after so much thought. Was it the wrong thing to do? Or was I just thinking too much?
Now, I think I have finally figured it out well enough to put my honest reflections into words. I wanted to share it to immortalise a note-to-self on an important milestone in my life, but also for those who are transitioning to new roles (especially from their first jobs!), as some thoughts to consider.
A sense of loss is normal.
I wish someone had given me a heads up but here it is. Your identity is constructed by the roles and responsibilities that you occupy. Where you work and what you do has always been a common way of characterising someone. It was weird that when people asked, I could not say that I worked at Shopee anymore. Especially if you have invested a lot of time and emotion into your role, you feel attached and want to be recognised alongside the work you have done. Leaving a job takes away something from your identity and you will feel that loss until you find what you need to define your new self.
Be grateful for the past but stay open to what’s new.
I turned to research to help understand what I was going through, and many of my personal conclusions stem from the work of Herminia Ibarra, a professor at London Business School. She studied how one’s identity changes with the change of jobs, but also explains that people must realise what got them here might not move them forward. I’m grateful to the skills and experiences that I’ve gained in my previous role. However, a new job does bring about a whole new set of conditions, and your old skills may or may not provide the best way to succeed.
Growing up, my dad used to drop random nuggets of wisdom that did not resonate with my child’s mind until now. One of it was “empty your cup” which comes from a Zen Buddhism story of a monk who kept pouring tea into a man’s already full teacup. The monk’s point was that in order to learn you need to open your mind — for if it is already full with your own conclusions, you cannot take in new knowledge. Simply being aware of this has helped me settle into my new role, by taking the time to listen and understand the values and expectations in my new environment.
Embrace opportunities and you will evolve.
Being open to new experiences is one thing, but embracing the novelty is another. I am a big proponent of the ‘Growth Mindset’ concept by Carol Dweck and the belief that we can keep improving if we push out of our comfort zones and solve new things. Moving into a new role presents a great opportunity to experiment, try fresh approaches or work on skills you did not have a chance to exercise before. For those out there who are trying to find “who you are”, embrace the fact that it is never static. The more changes you face, the more opportunities you have to shape and strengthen your sense of self.
A few days ago, I just hit four months into my new role. It is exciting to work alongside another group of immensely talented people and face new experiences that will make me a better person and marketer. No longer do I feel any sense of loss. In its place are feelings of gratitude to my old job and ex-teammates who are still dear friends, plus a renewed understanding of who I am and how to deal with change.
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